Two things happened to me today!
It’s not always easy being trans and transparent. This post is about some of the issues that I faced today. They didn’t depress me or anger me, but they did make me think about this lifestyle that I am living and how non- diverse this town is that I live in. The two events that happened forced me to stop and think..and they motivated me to continue..to continue to be visible and transparent, for the youth, for the melanated, for those who have no support system and those who struggle with the emotional roller coaster of doing their best to live authentically. Fuel for my motivation.
1) I was in the bathroom at work
standing by the sinks, texting my son. A woman walked in, took one glance at me and said/asked “oh my, am I in the wrong bathroom?” Now I resisted the urge to answer because I immediately understood that it was a rhetorical question. The unisex restroom was occupied so I was using the women’s bathroom.
She quickly left the restroom
and out of curiosity I followed, I was so curious as to what her brain was thinking/ contemplating. That lady walked out of the women’s restroom and marched herself into the men’s restroom…..blah ha ha ha. I can totally laugh at it now but it threw me off kilter for a second. Like…ummm…..duh. One part of me was pleased that I was passing, another part of me was nervous because I made a customer uncomfortable and the rest of me was deciding how to feel about the whole strangeness of the situation.
2) At the meet and greet after my show
people were pouring so much love and appreciation into me. Ppl felt compelled to hug me and hold me close and tell me how much my performance meant to them….there was one lady though. She was classy with the cutest 1920’s side wave hairdo, probably well into her 60’s maybe even 70’s. She was standing over there with a grimace on her face, lips pursed. I felt she had something to tell me, and honestly, being the person that I am, I wanted to receive it. I wanted her to give me her issue and leave it at the theatre, I wanted to offer her emotional release. So my ass shimmied up to her slyly and asked..
Hey! *big goofy grin on my face* did you like the show?
She had her lips pursed so tight, they almost formed a straight line. She proceeded to tell me that the “taking the clothes off part was unnecessary.” She was so mortified by the nudity that took place yet she came to see a show that doesn’t allow anyone under 16 to enter. A show about the human experience in prison. She was disgusted that we had to include my line: “he made me suck him off.”
I couldn’t resist.
I asked her… did you like the play? Ha! She replied “ you did a good job but next time don’t take your clothes off.”
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